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1. |
christmas time the intro
00:45
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christmas time is here
i think i have a bug in my ear
it's christmas time
it's christmas time
what time is it?
what time is it?
5:45
That clock is wrong, it's christmas time.
christmas time it's that time of year
it's christmas time i'm eating an ear of corn
christmas time all my family is near
i wrote this song cuz it's christmas
it's that time of year
which time?
it's christmas time
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2. |
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aight song number deuce
time for another christmas song
this one's in the key of Ab
time for this one
[stray cat dying]
it's snowing (x8)
please do not leave
please do not leave it's just starting to snow
christmas christmas time
it's christmas christmas time
crimbas crismass time
crimbas it's snowing on time
crimmas crimma where you going?
outside?
oh because of the snow?
yeah
woah what are the odds? 100% dat that would happen
ok this next song is called "daddy got a tree made outta robotussin"
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3. |
daddy's robotussin tree
01:19
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daddy got a treeee made outta robotussin (x3)
im gonna drink it all, ready for the robo-fucking
daddy got a treeee made outta robotussin (x3)
im gonna drink it all, ready for the robo-fucking
you can't get hard on robitussin
you can't get an erection on robitussin
i tried to jerk off on robitussin
couldn't jerk off on robitussin
ok thank you very much everyone thank you
yes thank you for that one
it is time for another christmas s000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
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4. |
the snowtrain interlude
00:31
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in this next 1 im gonna be living life to the fullest
but also im gonna be retreading what i already did
cuz in 2006--17, in 2017 i wrote a musical called snowtrain
and it was bad ass and im pretty sure it predated snowpiercer
don't hold me to that
but it was like a weird parody of the polar express
it was hella cool
hella was still in 2016 alright
the first song went like--
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5. |
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choo choo (x2)
do you believe in the bells?? (x2)
i don't believe in the bells!! (x2)
and then it would go "SNOWTRAIN"
baaaah
key switchup
snowtrain
uh oh we're on the track (x2)
where are we? we're on the tracks.
did you pack some snacks?
she didn't pack the snacks
she is a fucking hack
where are my snacks?
where are my
w-w-w-where are my snacks?
snowtrain!!!!
thank you very much that was snowtrain, the first track
the self-titled track of the album snowtrain
thank you very much everyone thank you
aight next-for the next one, time for the next one
in this song we're gonna take a closer look at the life of mary?
mary sue
mary sue lives in an 1800s cottage---orphanage (ye that's better)
she lives in an orphanage and she can't get efverything she wants on her christmas list
so this one is really sad, this one's real sad
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6. |
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i would like a pony for christmas
i really wish i had a pony
i want a pony for christmas (who did?)
i really wanted a pony
i asked for a pony for christmas
guess wat i didn't get? i didn't get a pony
i'm pissed
mary sue we gotcha a pony after all
mary sue your pony's in the hall
thank you it's christmas, i got a pony for christmas
im a jabroni this christmas
i think the rock inviented the word jabroni
mary sue mary sue mary sue wadja do??
i got a pony for christmas
i got a pony this year
pony time pony time christmas
pony time christmas this year
mary sue, that pony was a fluke
the pony died after like a day
that's really sad i'll getcha a new one
ya gotta keep the doctor away
eat your apples
ok ill get another pony
it's the year of the pony
i rlly wanted a pony
this has been sad for me
that song was very touching
thank you mary sue for letting come into ur life ok
now we're speaking with solidarity bc mary sue's pony passed ok
this next song is a special song ok i wrote it especially for
that special someone ok
you guys ready?
it's time
this song is called i am addicted to bein--i am addicted to drugs ok?
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7. |
all drugs are bad ass
01:49
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tha drugs
the druuuugs
drugs are my favorite thing
i want drugs, give me drugs
christmas is a time for girls and boys to eat vicodin
v-v-vicodin va-da
vicodin lots and lots and lots and lots of vicodin
i want vicodin
but i only got....
ibuprofen
thank u that song was called i am addicted to drugs
written by world famous musical artist jonathan johnson
written by him
thank you very much thank you thank you
now we're gonna take a break
keep listening tho cuz now there's a commercial coming atcha
it's commerical time
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8. |
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come on down to the pottery barn
there's so much we can do
we could make pottery for you
if you're needing it done (if you needed it done)
come get your pottery done
i'm so excited for pottery
i want you to come here
get yer pottery needs fulfilled
thank you
come on down to pottery barn (dadadada)
that's the end of that one
ok every1 for this next trick, we've got comedian
dabid copperfeared
dabid cougherfield that's his name, movin past that one
ok dabid, what do you have to say for yourself?
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9. |
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it's magic time, magic time for you (x2)
i do magic but im more than that
i also i will pull a rabbit from a hat
david copperfield
david cougherfield
davey coperfeld pulla rabbit from a hat
what's he gonna do with that hat?
probably pull a rabbit frum that hat
david-fuck
dabid dabid stop doing that
dabid dabid put down the hat
dabid your family is scared for you
you should put down the hat
think of what youre doing to the ppl who are watching that
you'll give em bad ideas like pulling rabbits from a hat
which wouldn't be a bad idea if hats worked like that
but im pretty sure the only hat that works like that is yours
every1 else has a normal hat, that's not very nice
you're just enticing them to pull out the rabbits from their hats
come on dabid, dance with me and your mother
im sorry i wasn't there for you
im david's dad
he's been pulling rabbits out of his cap
tell your mother in heaven i'm sorry
i didn't think that my teaching of hats would affect you so negatively
you can blame me and your mother
yeah"?!
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10. |
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christmas album come here!!
what?
come here!! it's the christmas album
i was listening to you through the vent
do you wanna be on the christmas album?
yeah
ok hold on
it was-
did u like it?
yeah it was loud
oh yeah
i could hear it.
did u hear about dabid copperfield?
the hat? the hat? yeah
yeah!
put down the hat
ok ok ready? this my next song, we've got noah in the studio
shut that door, scared them cats are gonna get down there
and you know what noah? for this special one you can do the percussion
yay!
this is a watch ok this next song is called christmas in the big city
ok ready? wait how's it work? u figure i would've known by now? ok ready?
mhm
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11. |
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ehhh christmas in the big city
ther'es nothing i want more than a big pair of tiddies
christmas look at the lights (x4)
it's christmas time, christmas time
i wanna big pair of tiddies to suck on all friggin night
christmas in the big city i could use a pair of tiddies
it's christmas in the big city i really want a pair of tiddies
it's christmas time christmas tiddy in the city
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i was outside and im rlly sweaty cuz i was i was pushing the snow all the way up the hill
yeah? nice
now i smell like leaves and-
you smell like sweat
yeah i-
you did a very good job on that percussion
thank you
thank you everyone than you
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12. |
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my brother noah has a wrist
he has a little noah wrist
what's he gonna put on it??
A WATCH
he's gonna put a watch onnit
what's he gonna do? put a watch on his wrist
you can keep that watch little noah
i'll let u keep it for a fee
u gotta go outside to where the cows are at
and get me a bottle of their pee
[robots bangin]
im not ashamed to admit i like a big bottle of cow pee
look at me goooooo
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13. |
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i found this piano in the trash
i found it in the trash
dont tell my parents
they wouldn't going thru the trash
actually come to think of it i stole it from a little kid
his room was just so messy that i thought he was a pig aaaaa
(weezes) it hurts
this one is called the christmas tattoo and it stars some1 u might be familiar with
dabid take it away
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14. |
dabid gets a tattoo
01:39
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when i was little boy i got a tattoo on my head
it was of a man, he was dead
thank you dabid, thank you thank you
i want to thank you
that was a good song
that was a good song
thank you thank you thank you thank you
i gotta tattoo on my head, it was a man he was dead
david david david dabid dabid dabid thank you
thank you very much, we learned so much (x2)
christmas time is here (x3)
david, dabid, dabid! show us your tattoo
i'll show u my tattoo if u show me your tits
i'll show u my tattoo if u show me a pair of tits
you're right i want those tits and i want them in my mouth
pls put those tiddies in my mouth i will sue if not
thank you dabid
copperfelt
this one is called-fuck this one doesn't have a name
this one is so scary it's untitled and it's just a scary one
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15. |
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(laughs)
this song is cursed by a witch
her name is Cassandra, she took both the kids
where'd they go? where are the kids?
i'll tell u if i ever find out
knowing her, i won't
she took both the kids and she's been telling them lies
about me like "your dad doesn't care about you"
"he only cares about drugs and booze" (x2)
i care about my kids
....
i don't really care about my kids
that was untitled
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16. |
santa punkee interlude
00:31
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oh my god i am so horny right now
this music making process is just getting me like all beefed up
we are very close to a full length album
i've never been more excited and you know what?
what's that?!
i think santa claus is in the building. you hear that punkee brooster? santa!
santa? santa claus is in the building!!!
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17. |
santa i want you in me
02:48
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o man punkee just u wait
santa got my letter i hope he sees
i don't want any toys, i just want some pee
SANTA
give me the peeeee
yeah! santa give me your pee
i just want your pee, i just want your peeee
santa santa can't you see?
i just want your pee
santa your dick is huge i want your pee
i get rlly excited when i think of ur pee
that's all i can think of for at least another day
santa your the best
santa put me to tha test
cram your dick in side of my butthole
cram your dick inside
i've been practicin' for u i put a whole microphone inside
santa santa ur dick is huge im sooo excited
santa i hope u know
i want u inside
(giggles) o my god uhhh i need more liquor oh man
that was one-a the---
i think that was a classic already
that was up there with like dr elmo
this one is called "i keep a handle of vodka by bedside"
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18. |
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ow ow daddy stop (x4)
aaaa he's got a gun
it's never gone this far before
daddy, get outta that door
daddy put the gun, daddy put it down
he's thinkin about it, i can tell
he probably loves me and mom
he's just made a lapse in his judgement
he'll be back in town
he'll love us again and come provide for us
or he'll shoot me and that'll be the end of me
they were shot, that's what happened, that's how it ended
thank you very much
now for this next one please every1 hold ur applause
this one is special because i wrote it for each and everyone of the good children
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19. |
gimme a pet for xmas
01:02
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chrissmas is the time to be celebrated with family
i just want a dog but my mom won't let me
nahnahnahnahnanhannahnahnahnah x2
no u cannot get a dog, those women were really scared
it wasn't even that cool, ok it was little bit cool but no dog
i can't pick up after a dog cuz my arms are short
u wont pick up after a dog cuz ur bad at havin a pet
thank you
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20. |
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well i cannot believe that we've got
tears for fears in the studio right now
take it away tears for fears, play your hit single
uhh "sock drawer lipton tea bottle" take it away
oyyy im tears for fears,
im one guy now i have no fears
i wish my partner was back
i wish he was baaaaack
i can't play without him
we're not inna band anymore
now it's just "tear 4 fear"
hello it's me in the studio tonight
it might be scary, or i might be sad that my partner's gone
oooy gov'ner where'd he go? (x2)
it is me, the other tears for fears guy
i'm back in the studio dont try to ask me why
i left my jacket here last year when i was getting sum stuff togetha
before we split up
and now ive gotta get me jacket
lemme leave leave leave leave leave leave leave.....
oy it's me again the other tears for fears guy
you can't leave, we've got to sing
o-kay
thank you very much tears for fears, that was you thank u
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21. |
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oy tears for fears guy,
give us a taste of that good tears for fears magic
play one of your classic ones uh-
[head over heels]
ooooodooooodoodoodoo
doooodooodoooodoooooododododo
thank you very much tears for fears
we appeciate u coming down this way
all the way from brighton, where u are... from
and we'll be right back with another celebrity. what??
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22. |
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hey everyone it's me, the one guy
you know me, i'm a celebrit--i'm a celebrity
i'm definitely not a sheisty uhh salesman
who wormed his way into the studio with false promises
hey excuse me sir, what do-whaddaya got in ur pocket? u got a--
is that ur dick in ur pocket?
no no, you see, uh it's-they're empty you see
he stuffed his pockets full of our silverware, i can't-
get the hell out of here, have some christmas spirit
ok?
back in the studio, we've got celebrity, a new celebrity
this time we've got tears for fears in the studio thank u very much
mister tears, can you get fears to stop dipping his fingers in the punch bowl? he's weirding everyone out... he's on what??? well get on down here, it's your guys's times ok? ok alright
this next one is dedicated---is by tears for fears
alright tears for fears, give it the ole tears-for-fears-try
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23. |
super awesome tff song
01:34
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hey everyone it's a tears for fears day
hey everyone it doesn't matter what u say
my name is tears for fears and im here to remind you
i don't know how to tie my shoe
tears 4 tears is (x2)
tears 4 tears
my fears, down the tears, get them outta my eyes
give it the ole tears for fears try
i wanna pass a message to all the kids
teach them that smoking kills and also give me a quid
gimme all ur money
don't look under my mask
get outta me mask
hey you look quite familiar sir, can u please take off ur mask
ok ill take it off but don't laugh....it's me ya see
it's the sheister, get the gun, kill him
[gunshots] yeeeeeah [more gunshots]
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24. |
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um in this next song
i will explain what i just did to the sheister
and why im probably gonna be locked up for a bit
he's dead, he's dead
he's deeeeeeaaaad deeeeeeeaaaad
deeeeeeead dead i shot him i-
deeeeeeeeeead
i shot him in the eye
duhduhduhduhduhduh
[instrumental break]
i shot him in the eye it's me the other tears for fears guy
i shot him in the eye he is dying real slow
get that dying man out of that studioooo
get that dying man out to the studio alley
ah he stinks real bad
u sure he wasn't dead before he got here?
is there any way to get out of this?
like maybe he was dead when he showed up?
oy love maybe
thanks tears for fears
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25. |
this one is called TFF
00:23
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OY LOOOVE it's us!!
we're back in the studio
oyy uh this time it's really me the other guy and not the sheister
so we're gonna be doin a couple of our old hits
this one is called
tears for fears
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26. |
we might scare a seagull
00:47
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hey tears for fears, let's go to the beach
we'll play our album, our new album at the beach
we'll play our album at the beach and we'll just see what'll happen
will we scare a gull??
will we scare a seagull maybe?
we're tears for fears, gettin up there in the years
we're like 60 now
we're tears for fears, tears for fears
we're tears for fears, tears for fears
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27. |
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alright everyone this is the rugrats theme
[rugrats theme]
he's in the hell
tommy pickles went to hell
why'd he go there? i'll tell u all
tommy pickles went to hell
tommy pickles went straight to hell
he made a deal with the devil
he told the devil he would sign his piece of paper
he should've read that fine print
he should've read that fine print
it said that the devil got his soul
it said that the devil got his soul
where'd the devil go with his soul?
i'll tell u next week
idk where the devil went but i'lll give u a sneak peak
hell
hell
hell
hell
hell
hell
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28. |
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[silent night]
christmas is here, i dunno what that means
but i'll tell you what i think of it
i live in one of those countries where
christmas is not celebrated
like the one with the nile, the one with the paris tower
the one with the pyramids, that's the same one as the nile
well i didn't know~
vagina
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAA
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29. |
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[slamming on keyboard randomly]
i'm a musician
i make music
i dunno how to keep beat
i wanna get my feet rubbed
come rub my feet
come rub em fast
come rub my feet
come rub em fast
uhhhh christmaaass
CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAS
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Jugboy Ohio
A depository for all my music regardless of the moniker. Suck n fuck.
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