Get all 66 Jugboy releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Domain Of All, Motorola RAZR V3m Silver, Remixes (2019-2024), The Legacy Of A Wood Knot, 22 Piano Pieces, In Communication With An Infinite Spring, Milford Willabert Sings To The Kids!!, Sprawling, and 58 more.
1. |
Jurassic Times
03:51
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It is the Jurassic times
Come find me in the
Jurassic times would you
Please?
If you go back in history
And you go to the dinosaur period
You will find me
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2. |
Picture Of A Monkey
02:30
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It will be
A picture of a monkey
Or a picture of a little bunny
But it never goes away
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3. |
Left My Doody
03:08
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I left my doody in the bathroom
And everybody got mad
How was I sup-
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4. |
Beans (Interlude)
02:46
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DOODOODOOOODOOODOODOODOODODOODOODODOOOOODODOODODOOODODOOOODODOOODODODODOOOOOOOODOOO
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5. |
Instant Michael Vick
01:20
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Cuz immediately I'm like Michael Vick
And I stick them suckers in a bag
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6. |
Mrs. Pacman's Death
04:09
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But Pacman was strong
He said, "Show me her body"
"And I will tell you if it's my beloved Mrs. P"
And as she sat there
On the stretcher
He thought to himself, "Goddamn man"
"Losing her was like I lost a piece of me"
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7. |
What I'm Gon Do
03:31
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Do you think
When you're drifting off to sleep
That I'm gonna pull a gun out on you
While on the street
And shoot your dad to death?
With my gun?
In his face?
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8. |
Bad Ass Skeleton
03:45
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Bad ass skeleton with a gun
Bad ass skeleton's # 1
Bad ass skeleton with a knife
Bad ass skeleton with a cigar will take your life
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9. |
Fuck Manhattan
02:20
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There is magic lousing from every
Corner of the world too
Except for downtown Manhattan man
That shit's grody poo
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10. |
The Moo Cow
03:37
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Takin a night walk
Out on the town
Saw me a moo-cow
Fur was dark brown
Got me some milk
From its teets in the street
It turned back to me
And the moo-cow
It speaked
It said "mooooooooooo"
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11. |
Church Lemon Smell
03:46
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I'll be sitting in the pews
At my favorite downtown church
Thinkin about the Lord
and Jesus's work
Thinkin about the Bible
Thinkin about the Quran
Thinkin about the Torah
Take your pick I don't mind
It always smells like lemon pledge
And I couldn't ever understand
Why it smelled that way
Cuz nobody had a dustpan in hand
Why's it smell so clean?
So hygienic today?
Like it had a hospital quality
Keepin the germs away
Deedoodoodoodoo
Church song
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12. |
Anarchist Tastes
01:57
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I could never really nail them down
They seemed to have anarchist tastes but also-
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13. |
Optimus Prime Theme
02:35
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OPTIMUS PRIME (x50)
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14. |
Peanuts (Interlude)
02:21
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UHHHHH
UHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAHHHHHH
AAHHHHHHH
BaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaAAAAA
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15. |
Alternate Realities
03:53
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When I settle down at night
I have visions of another thing I did in a past life
Horrible things that I will not go into detail about
But for example
I have dreams about smashing people in the face
With a piece of broken glass, or a piece of potted vase
I think really long and hard about the things I wanna do
Like when-
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16. |
The Fun Song
03:37
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It's the fun song!!
Everybody join in!!!
If you know the words!!!
This is the fun song
Clap along
This is the fun song
Clap along
(you should kill your parents)
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17. |
Go To The Junkyard
04:07
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There is a place where you can
Show up any time of day
And once you arrive
You're entitled to some gifts
It's like a big ole mountain
Full of really fun stuff
It's the junkyard
And all those gates that they
Keep up around the place
Just make you wanna go inside the junkyard more
So you go and then you ski down
And a giant hole opens up beneath you
And you catch on fire
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18. |
Not Cool Satan
01:47
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I offered him my immortal soul
In exchange for an NES copy
Of Mario 2
Satan is kind of a stickler
I guess my soul wasn't good for 2
So he gave me 1
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19. |
Sucking 'n Fucking
02:31
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Suckin n fuckin
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20. |
It Is The Tuber (Audio)
13:09
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chappter 1 - the tuber
hello and thank you purchashing your very own audio copy of it is the tuber in audio book format. this is
the book and in the book we will be talking about the tuber which is a metal instrument that was made a
hundred years ago (maybe even more) and is very cool because it is innovative which means to be
forward thinking. and i am the writer of this book, my name is Milford Willabert and i am an
extrasquitive music player who has over a hundred songs that i wrote. the most popular song that i have
wrote myself seems to be the song that goes like this
doo doooo dooo doood ooo doo doo dooo doooooo
i wrote it because i think that the state of the music in the music industry is a bad state of the music
industry and that the soul has left the music, which is bad. i would before we begin i would like to talk
about the other instrument the guitar which is a five stringed stick with a circle on the end that looks like
the fish kinda. it is crazy that before the dawn of the days of computers and computer virtual reality that
the music scene was dominated by a the guitar which is a strigned emstrumment. thing kabout it, the
michael jackson five only used the guitar and it was like 90 years ago so there was no computers. but it's
crazy that they make so many crazy amazing crazy songs with just the guitar because that's wild.
but this is a album about the tuber actually not the guitar so we'll, we're going to about the guitar, i
mean the tuber.
It is so crazy wild the techniques that the tuber players implement when they are playing their tubers.
for one example, there was a famous tuber player who was well known all across the american states as
the finger plucker because when he was playing his tuber, the tuber was a brass one by the way, he
would play it the method he used was to pluck at it with his little fingers and his name was famous
french composer john williams who has since been known to make songs for the show star wars.
besides finger plucking, another cool thing to do with your tuber is to scream into the big end when a
nother person has their ear stuck to the small end where the mouth goes because it will transfer the
sound directly into their rain and it will make them probably go deaf and it will be really funny to watch.
especially if you're high on weed.
so next of all, the tuber is not for everyone. i have known many people to grab a tuber at the music store
or at the guitar center who are then they go home and then the tuber is not for them either because it
hurts they fingers or because it hurts they fingers and they can't play the tuber anymore. plus, what's up
with the trombone? i think that the trombone is hiding a little secret. i think the trombone is a little
miniature tuber. but that is just my opinion so please, do not tell me if you hate that opinion. i hate you. i
think if you have no nice things to say, then shut the fuck up.
the tuber was created by bach beethoven before the days of computers. maybe the year was the same
year that the lightbulk was invented. because when the lightbulb is on, they are kinda te same color and
idk when that color was discovered but i imagine that surge in popularity was probably not a
coincidence.
You may be sitting on your chair in your room and thinking wow, is the tuber and the trumpet, are they
different? and i'm here to tell you, probably. the tuber is a lot smaller than the trumpet for reasons i'm
actually not sure of. i think it might be because the tuber is made for small men. and the trumpet was
made for the harlem globetrotters who are all 7 feet tall.
one day, when i was practicing my tuber, i wrote this book called it is the tuber and i am reading it now.
you can't always be a champ of the tuber because tehre are many steps to becoming it. by it i mean the
champ of the tuber. step one of becoming the champ is to take a quick look around you and see who is
good at the tuber. if you are not friends with any tuber experts, then this rule will not work. but if you
are, prove to them your allegience to the cult of tuber and purchase 500 mill eaters of chrolorfill which is
what plants eat and it makes you pass out when you smell it. so i would recommend that you use this to
pass out all the better tuber players and then take them home and burn them in the oven. this is to
prevent antyone else from becoming a betteer tuber player than you. in no time whatso ever, then you
will be a regular miles davis.
jazz is for cool people, but tuber is for special.
it may be confusing, the tuber, because perhaps you are staring at it and you are unsure if it is a
technology because it is such a music innovation that it made music different going forward. but i ensure
you, it is not such. though it is made from metal like robots, the tuber does not move like a robot.
instead when you put air inside of it, it will dispense a little sound kinda like a dog when you step on a
dog.
but do not be confused because it is not a dog, and it is not a robot, it is a blass instrument belonging to
the blass metal family like the trombone which we have already discussed in great detail so i will not talk
about it any further unless u really want me to and then i will.
the blass tuber is also kinda a friend who will sing you songs. when i got mine, i thought holy shit it's
made out of gold, and i was gonna sell it to the the jeweler but then he told me it was just the blass that
made it look like mustard and not valuable gold. this was disappointing. i would not recommend
attempting to sell ur tuber to the sam ash music store in columbus because they will lie to you and tell
you it's blass and not gold and that kinda rubbed me wrong to be honest with you.
i owe most of my success to my career in playing the instrument which is formerly known as the tuber
and was created perhaps it was created to mimick the sound of a wolf.
there was a wise man who trained me in this artform and he told me something that is about the tuber
that i forgot but one second i will remember. oh yes, he told me that.
wise men say the tuber is the eye of the soul. that though the tuber you can see all things past presents
and future presents that you will receive for christmas. but i know, i know deep down that i will only
receive neverending disappointment from all but my tuber. i hate my friend Randal. he is a cock. i play
my tuber, he plays a different instrument that is called rocket league and is not an instrument but rather,
it is the program rocket league. he is always telling me "you make too much tuber music and you don't
have time for fun." and i tell him what i told my own father when i left home to become a tuber. i said to
him "you are hack, you are hack, go away, you are hack. i am happy." and i spit in his fries. fucking bixtch.
randal has problems i think. he has a friend named brendall. that is all i know about brendall. once, when
we were eating drugs he said to me "you will never be a famous tuber" and i once again spit in his fries.
fuck fuck fuck. fucking randal. fuck.
the tuber means so much to me, as does its cousin instrument the ex ylophone with its many keys and its
two sticks that you strike it with until it yelps! the zylphpne kinda sounds like the piano but if the piano
was a twinkly bitch. i am lactose intolerant.
more than anything else in the world when you are washing your hands and feet and preparing to play
this magic tuber, i would ask that you keep your eye on the pry, which is a term in the music world
meaning, don't get too cocky or a trained sniper in the audience will shoot you to death similar to how
abragram lincoln was gotten. i miss him. he seemed cool.
i love the tuber. i hope by the end of this book you will love the tuber. not more than me as it is not
possible but perhaps almost as much as i do love the tuber which is my emstrument that i play. i found a
secret message on the bottom of mine and it reads as follows "made in tawan" and i don' tspeak that
language so idk.
i know many secrets about music. i listen to all the music that comes out and i have heard every song.
name a song and i know the words. for example, i love fergie and nine inch nails. one song that exists is a
song that goes "hey judy, don't let them get you down." and it was written by the pop act from the
1990s which is called the beatles the white album, named because all members of the band were white
and they liked white bread. how is it that the beetles white albums were able to record their song since
none of their members who were in the band actually did not know how to play the tuber? it's wild i say.
wild. idk. i think all good bands use the tuber. it was created from gold after all.
in the early days, the tuber was used to punish those who tried to take advantage of its unruly power.
one tuber had the power of seven guitars, six pianos, and four timberines. there's an episode of dexter's
labratory where he plays a tuber. hey. have you guys heard the story of tuber man buckeye who wrote
the album "to play tuber in the heavens would be my wish if i found a genie?" he discovered his love for
the tuber after a fling with peril and death and danger and injury when he fell off his car while riding on
top. he was flund into the snake bushes where he was eaten by snakes and he died, but he was survived
by his child, who was a tuber. i think everyone has the right to learn about tubers. by purchasing this CD
you are hearby allowing me custody of your children.
the only religion i recognize is judaism and that is because they love a good tuber. go judaism! show
them some love i will link their official website below. please go show them some love and let them
know that the tuber is a good pick for their official instrument and flag.
do you ever think about how the night sky is the same color as a tuber if it were painted black? me too. i
wonder what that tuber would sound like? would it play different? probably. i wanna green tuber. hey, i
like weed. but not as much as i love the tuber. goodbye. goodbye tuber, says nobody because the tuber
needs a forever home kinda like a dog. or a cat. but more like a dog.
i wish i had sports car that i could use like at nascar and if i did i would also play my tuber inside.
when the tuebr was made there was a king named tuber who wanted to trap the mario twins in his
castle but he wasn't fash enouugh ig
the crazty thing most ppl dont recognize is that it date sback to the begiingint of time by the god
instruments he was creating the instrument the accordion for weird al yank a bitch that's what god said
but also decided the tuber would be a insturment bc he cared abt the arts and the way he did when god
was pass out noses he thoguh roses so he hesaid red red feet he thought he said meat hahahahah so he
asked fo r the stake and when god said eye rye ballls and the tuber didn't understand so he asked fo
rnone and that is why the tuber fdoesn't ahve eye sthanks
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21. |
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22. |
Oh Dear Doc Boy (bonus)
02:33
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Jugboy Ohio
A depository for all my music regardless of the moniker. Suck n fuck.
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